Lord, I’m not sure that this is the *right* thing to say; that my friends would understand; or that anyone at all would feel the same way – but this is where I found my heart resting this morning.
Holy Father, I’m deeply grateful for all You’ve done, to pave the way, that I might be saved. That I may be delivered from sin and from this world, and ultimately to dwell with You forever.
But Father, please – please don’t just take me home.
Not that I don’t long to see You in Your glory. Not that I don’t long to be delivered from the wickedness and injustice of this world. But Father, if there’s anybody who’s been left out – anybody who could have joined us in receiving your gracious deliverance – anybody who *should* have joined us – but because of things I’ve done or failed to do, they didn’t quite make it…
Holy Father, I cannot rejoice in Your presence under the weight of this possibility. Please Lord, please – don’t bring me home, until every last one of your lost sheep has been brought into the fold. Or at least until my part is fully accomplished – using all that you’ve placed in my hands, for the purposes for which you intended these things, in the name of Your Kingdom.